No matter how hard you try to escape the past it always catches up wid you..jst when u think you can start trusting again time proves you wrong again..
you see life is like this complex maze,jst when you think you have figured it all ,all you may reach is a dead end...so thats d way my state of mind is right now..
True, I have been blessed with many wid many helping hands,sometimes they came from a person I least expected and at times when I almost gave up....One very matured and practical person tried to make me see wherI erred..he told me to grow up and see d world as it is(not thru rose colored glasses)..he told me to come out of my dream world and be realistic..he taught me to love and trust myself again...he was there always..i jst couldnt see it and in d end I jst pushed him away frm me by my actions and only after I lost him did realisation dawn on me..but it was too late...I have always done dis..pushed away my parents,my first love,my best friends..anyone who ever came close enough to help me..I always thought I cud handle it..I tried really hard to heal,to change,to move on but all my past actions come back to haunt me,all d past hurt and d pain resurfaced...and one tiny incident triggered evrythin....I came face to face wid someone I thought I had removed every traces off from my existence and den he did something dat brought every emotion bak...he smiled..and dat was it.....d one time I really need all d support I cud get I was deserted by d very people I trusted most..tell me how do I trust coz everytime I do I get hurt...and how do I beg forgiveness from those I hav hurt ,frm those I have disappointed..If only one cud turn bak time