Friday, September 07, 2007

Once upon a time there was a little girl who had everything a child dat age might desire..Her parents doted on her,fulfilled all her wishes,did everything in their capacity to keep d smile on her face....She was surrounded by loving relatives most of the times,had her room full of beautiful dolls and a dollhouse,pretty frocks with lots of beads and laces on them,beautifully illustrated books and all kinds of toys possible...But she was lonely all the time,restless for she had everything except for maybe a playmate..She loved lil children specially one baby girl but her sister wud always shoo her away....She cudnt understand why some children made fun of her while others treated her wid vague disinterest..Since she was always used to being d cynosure of her family's eyes she cudnt understand their behavior....Quite emotional most of the times,she wud cry easily,sometimes to attract attention and sometimes genuinely because she felt so alone..But that smile wud always be there on her face while her parents and others were around..the smile never left her even when d taunting and jeering made her heart cry out..nobody cud see it..then one day she met 3 wonderful people ,lil girls some yers elder to her..They welcomed her into their lives and made her feel like a part of "something"..the lil girl experienced the first "happy time" of her life..But happy moments dont last long as her parents had to move soon after, to a place meaner and bigger .
The lil girl had just stepped into her teens now and while her maturity was not a day above 6,she was no longer considered to be a lil kid anymore.She was determined not to make d same mistakes dat had alienated her frm others of her age before but she didnt know what those mistakes were..Some are born wid maturity , some learn wid time and a very few others who dont learn anything until they get into a bad mess and those rare ones who do it agn and agn and end up being hurt and confused..That lil girl was amongst the last type..She still lived in her fantasy world,dreamt of being liked by everyone..She always hoped that sooner or later someone wud give her a break ..But noone ever did..Her innocence made her appear foolish and naive to others,they thought they cud use her every now and den..but she kept d smile and kept moving one adding layers inside till slowly her real self became buried and she didnt knw herself nymore.She confided in a grl who she thought as d best thing dat ever happened to her..told her all her woes,trusted wid all her heart..and den one day d lil girl fell in love.her very first..and from dat day He meant the world to her..With him she gained d confidence she thought she didnt have..True she wasnt an ugly child but she was no beauty either..He taught her how to ove herself,develop a self esteem.All this time she went farther away from her parents..She didnt trust them anymore and chose her friends above them..She was becoming popular, d only thing she ever wanted,had d one guy she cared about..she was happy..Then oneday d unthinkable happened.Her world came crashing when her best friend and her love broke her heart beyond repair..And from that day she lost her confidence,her self esteem..She receeded back in d shell dat had always protected her and refused to feel anything..still she didnt share her pain wid anyone...everything including her dreams were affected,she didnt knw what she wanted anymore..
D lil girl was a lil girl nomore..She had buried dat lil grl deep inside her...Now a young adult she wud soon have to leave home for college..She didnt want to live wid her parents anymore,she had become a selfish woman,trusted no one.And den the place she chose to run away from the world gave her d biggest surprise in her life..for the first time she felt like she belonged somewhere..she no longer felt like a freak but like all d other girls wid her..dat place became her home...She gained back her self esteem and her confidence..She was no longer taunted and instead found her natural abilities of a leader..while she thought she was helping others like her,she discovered herself..Trust was something dat took a lil more time..She realised d value of her parents and most importantly she found her aim in life..though hostel had its share of some horrible devastating experiences,she always found her way out of it..She was learning to trust herself first..She did fall in love again and dat brought out dat lil grl out wid disastrous results once again..She realised that now she was a young woman and no one will tolerate that lil kid anymore..But Now she has accepted it..d lil grl and d young woman r now one..Dat lil kid sometimes protects d young woman.Its not like she doesnt know d darker side of human nature but sometimes its better not knowing things..She is now no longer a freckled,shy wallflower who was always eager to please people..She is now a beautiful young woman wid eys towards her goal..she no longer feels unattractive and unwanted..She now knows what she must do..And though she doesnt yet want to grow up,she knows she has to and she is taking her time,enjoyin every moment..She believes in her family and frnds again and knows dat she will love again one day too..
 
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