17 th MARCH,2007:: For most people it was just another day but for me dis day had special significance..It was my bday..My days of being a teenager had officially ended...I had mixed feelings which were quite evident from my initial reluctance to get up in d morning..i didnt want dis day to start..I forcibly closed my eyes and refused to budge despite my mom's earnest requests..All this time too much was going inside my head and I didnt have d energy to formulate my emotions and thoughts..
I felt old..suddenly it dawned on me that I cud never go back to my careless childish ways.Everything was strangely exciting and scary both at d same time.I know my responsibilities hav increased but so has my reluctance to acknowledge I hav finally grown up.I even knew why it scared me so much.I am an only child..i hav to play d role of both son and daughter and sometimes i wonder whether I wud be able to fulfill d promise I made to my parents and more importantly to myself.
20 long years..come to think of it ,it has passed so quickly..I have come a long way,learnt a lot from people I never expected to learn anything from,made and lost close friends,lost loved ones...Every one I came in contact with taught me something in varying proportions..I cant say that life has always been a very smooth road,rather quite a rocky one at times but everytime I managed to stay right on d track and come out stronger and unscalded from any situation.It changed me,a lot of my innocence has been lost in the process..sometimes I regret it, regret that all this has changed me way too much but I guess I have to accept them as a part of life..being bitter abt it will never solve any problems.
The whole day I got flooded wid phone calls and scraps(400.. dat made we really happy)..It felt wonder ful to know that people remembered...everyone asked me how I was feeling...I said it felt gr8 which wasnt d truth...but wud nyone understand if I said I didnt feel a thing...
The rest of d day passed rather quicker than I wud have liked it to..But i spend it wid my parents..for them I wud be their"little girl "...Oh dad!I wish I could tell you that ur lil grl has grown up now and she is going to make you real proud of her one day...I know I hav hardly seen anything yet and I know I will make plenty of mistakes still and I know my ordeals have just begun but I dont care ..the time has come when I need to shoulder my responsibilities and make them proud..
5 comments:
"17 MARCH 2007:"--seemd lik prelude of a war game...[:P]...felt lik smt earthquake or sm accident or smthng vry rusty wch u can nvr forget is wht u've ritten nxt...but thn after readin teh post..."ye to wahi RAT hai,bole to conglomeration of al kinda emotions..."[:P]
whew!! Congrats...gr8 2 hear bout 400 in a day...I get tht numbers in tht many dayz[:(]...well it's gud tht u thnk of makin ur parents proud of u...but y do u treat ur birday 2 b teh strtin of tekin responsibilities ...I mean it shld be within u in general evry day...
"Management widout objective"---means tht u shldn't aim at smthng n get tensed whn U don't acheive it,but jus put in ur efforts n do teh thngs rite n surely u'll get it...[:)]
U knw wht... this post of urs reminds of a poem wch I passed across durin my childhud dayz...it was sort of autobiography by a poet whu narrated tht how pissed off he felt whn he reached 21 n luked bck in teh yester years to c tht he hasn't done nethng gr8 to cherish...teh poet name i dont' remember..mayb john keats or smbdy else..cld U hlp in gettin his name...[:D]
you're a sooperwoman!
you roole!!
Hi Rittwika
Bored and sleepless; I just stumbled upon your orkut profile, looked at an about me which was stuffed enough to be read... and that stuff told me not to scrap you (which was worthless nyway) and that about you smoothly directed me to your blog, started reading the latest post, while sailing through it and trying to make impressions in my mind, I just found nothing extraordinary, for example a regular blog title (no offence), a regular layout... a just every second irregular blogger who wants comments on the blogs (I wrote a small post on this feeling) reading the post I found nothing strange to wait and think upon.... just as regular thoughts as one can have... nothing wrong and nothing great... but whoa... nearly when I was in the middle of the article, I realized, "stupid... this is nothing wrong and nothing great this is original" As original as one can be.... Bday nothing special... yes... but it compels you to look back and 20 (22 in my case) years seems lot, scraps do make you feel good( 130 was my count... considerable amount for me) people remember you, making you feel important and yes a looking at the number of years, you just become scary, God I dint feel like I am this old... am I really?
sense of loss of innocence, yes you are right but any ways... I feel now that it is somewhere to good that I am no longer as innocent... probably because I havent really experienced the big world, no big ordeals yet; true. World is just too varied to be learnt completely.
I was just too content to read further of your blog... just read the next post... seems like I have read it somewhere else, is this by you?
ny ways.. nice to drop in here... I dont expect any reply back from you... but as you know comments are always welcome :) time to sleep goodbye
you felt old? are you sure? if you were to take my viewpoint, you still sound like a little girl. but here, well, i don't know.
and what's this 'responsibility' stuff? this ain't my sweet sis. i want her back. on text.
no matter how old you are, there'll always be a child somewhere within you. try to pamper her, and you'll see...
lotsa luv,
bro
Hi Ritzz... :) ...its my way of knowing you!! .... Ur PAST is your STRENGTH.....and ur dream,Longingness for "THAT" something...is HOPE!!!... u LIE in between.....u know what to do... :) :) ..GOD BLESS YOU SWEETHEART!! :) ....Belated Happy Birthday!! :)
Post a Comment